african woman in grief crying in light room

Managing Grief and Loss

2023-07-22T12:00:46+00:00

By Ev

There is no one way to cope with loss or grief. I also want to debunk the myth that time heals the injuries that come with death. Time, working with memories, gives us the allowance of forgetting, so the loss of last year is easier to talk about today. It still stings, but it’s better.The way loss is personal is the same way the experiences that come after a loss are personal – tailored to the value of the thing/person lost. It is because of this that a time frame is not placed on loss. We do not say that we give you one year – and to do so would be sorcery on our part.These are some of the things that we encourage in the face of loss:

Cry: We encourage you to cry as much as you need to. We know that there will be triggers, familiar scents, a place you used to go together. When these things happen, allow your tears to come.
Comfort: There will be places that you will find comfort in. Embrace them. In food, novels, new tasks/habits, wearing the clothes of the person, sleeping in their room – whatever they may be, do them.
Faith: Whatever your faith is, I am sure that provisions are made for those who grieve. The Bible in Mathew 5:4 says “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted”. It is in times of grief that we are anchored and strengthened by the things we believe in.
Deal with emotions as they come: Anger and pain will be felt. They will come, go and come again. They will be felt in different degrees. Be sure not to disregard them. Feel them and work through them. It is sorcery for anyone to expect you to automatically continue with how your life was before your loss. Shock and disbelief will also appear.
Find Support: In times like this, talking to people who have not experienced loss is a waste of time. They cannot fully understand the things that you are going through. Find a community of people who have worn your shoes and walked the roads that you currently walk in.
Take care of yourself: It is important that you do not forget that there is still life in you. You need to cater to yourself as much as possible, no matter how hard it proves. Do not forget to eat, drink water, and do the things that you enjoy doing – in as small doses as possible so you do not bury yourself in tasks.