Are you about to say, “I do?” A lifetime commitment can either make or mar you, so you need to give serious thought to any commitment you have to make in life, especially as it concerns marriage. You need to be in sync with the right person, so that you don’t sink in real life. According to Margot Datz “A solid commitment splices two lives together and holds through the storms.”

Try to always define any relationship you’re involved in with the opposite sex. Let it be defined from the onset, so that you are both on the same frequency. I remember during my undergraduate days at the University, there was this guy I was close to, we talked a lot and laughed at each other’s jokes. But it was just a platonic relationship, at least that was what I thought. A day came and he wanted us to be more than friends, I had to decline nicely. I didn’t want what he wanted. And lo and behold he took offence. Is it by force?

Know this, just as opportunities abound everywhere, deception abounds too. Too many fake “products” in the market. Clothes don’t make the man.

Some Questions to Consider Before You Say, “I Do.”

• What is his perception about life? His values? What are his aspirations? What is the basis for what he believes? Is he trustworthy? Does he have integrity? Does he fear God? These are some questions that should be asked and pondered on without apologies.
• What do others say about him? Now don’t disregard this point because to a great extent it matters. So, what do people close to him, say about him; both the ladies and the guys? You need to find out.
• He might be a handsome dude, and you’re physically attracted to him, but what about his character? What values does he have to offer?
• He drives an expensive car, but he’s so shallow minded and egotistical. Moreover, it might not be his car…he might have borrowed it to impress you.
• He is a graduate, that’s good, but can he hold an Intelligent conversation for five minutes?
• He talks down on you in private and in public, what are you waiting for? You’ve not borrowed sense to walk away.
• Does he give allowances for your mess ups and forgive you, or does he judge you harshly anytime you make a mistake?
• He is a control freak; he controls who you see and when you see them, even what you put on and who should be your friends. My dear sister, he sees you as an acquired possession and a property not a person who has a voice.
• He buys you expensive gifts, so what? In the first place, you shouldn’t be collecting gifts from someone you’re not ready to marry.
• He says he loves you “pass” his mother…that might be a warning bell. Most men love their mum sooo much.
• Do you know about his family background? Or does he keep evading discussions about his family anytime you ask?
• Does he really listen to you when you talk or he loves hearing the sound of his own voice?
• Are discussions about finance issues a no-no for him? Or does he let you in on his financial plans?
• He wants to express his love “practically” to you, and show you how much he loves you, by taking you to bed, run for your dear life. That is not sacrificial love, it is selfish love.
  
  Further Ask:

1. Does he have passion for you? This goes beyond, “I love you.” Lord Byron makes us know that, “Love without passion is dreary; passion without love is horrific.”

2. Is he a responsible person? Or does he run from responsibilities? Someone said, “Responsibility is not having a car or house. You can have a car and house by the privilege of access, but responsibility is from the heart; the willingness to grow, to press and fulfil the cost dimension of life.”

3. Does he have reverence for God?

4. Does he submit to an earthly authority for correction and mentorship? Who can correct him when he’s misbehaving?

Ladies, these are some points you should consider deeply before you take that big step of marriage and say those words- “I do”. All the best.

Efe Lisa Ifezuo

Graduate of English. Content writer, author, blogger, Relationship/Teen Counsellor and Business Owner at Coinscribes (A General Transcription, content/fictional writing Service).

A short story; Love Is Not the Problem for teens by the writer: Click here to read