How to Differentiate a Husband from a Horse-Band

2022-08-22T19:13:41+00:00

It may be easy to claim the “husband” title by merely being an adult male in a marital relationship. However, being a husband entails much more. Quite a number of men who claim to be husbands are, in the real sense, horse-bands, which is a phrase that we have coined for a man who holds the title of a husband but doesn’t live up to the expectations of the title. A horse-band is the complete opposite of a husband.It could be quite unfortunate to fall into the hands of a horse-band as a woman. To prevent this, here are five features that can help you, as a woman, to differentiate a husband from a horse-band:LOVE: A husband’s main responsibility is to love his wife purely and selflessly. He has to provide protection, leadership, guidance, friendship and priesthood to her and every member of his family. He should be his wife’s rock and protector as he is usually the physically stronger person in the relationship. When he loves his wife, he earns the respect and honour of his wife. A horse-band, on the other hand, is inconsiderate and selfish. His priorities are significantly more important and exclude his wife’s best interest.INTELLIGENCE: A husband should be physically, emotionally and spiritually intelligent. He must know how to respond to issues appropriately, based on knowledge, facts and figures. He should be able to proffer solutions to problems. When he is not sure of what to do, he should take some time to think about the issues. A horse-band is the opposite of this. He is indecisive and this makes him vulnerable to poor decision-making. Such a man will never willingly take responsibility or seek answers and solutions.

MATURITY: This has nothing to do with his age but about his ability to make sound decisions and handle issues without unnecessarily reverting to offense. A husband is sensitive to his temperament and his partner’s and knows how to handle their strengths and weaknesses. A mature husband, in a nutshell, is able to work on his character, emotional stability, listening skills, discipline and flexibility. All these features are alien to a horse-band. He is impatient and rushes into situations without proper consideration or a patient listening ear to his partner. These red flags are features of a horse-band.LOYALTY: A husband should be loyal. According to the Cardozo Professor of Jurisprudence and author, George P. Fletcher, “Minimum loyalty is simply not betraying your spouse, not having affairs, not betraying trust, and not being dishonest. It’s the bare minimum: the baseline.” So, while it is not wrong for a married man to find other women attractive, a husband understands that his heart belongs to just one woman: his wife. He, therefore, won’t betray her trust by engaging in extramarital affairs or dishonesty. A horse-band doesn’t know or care about loyalty. In fact, he regards marriage to his wife as a favour from him, so he sees loyalty to her as a sign of weakness.HUMILITY AND FORGIVENESS: A husband understands that he is human and prone to make mistakes, just as his partner is. So, he doesn’t make excuses for his mistakes but admits them and is willing to make amends. Therefore, he is able to extend forgiveness to his wife when she makes mistakes. A horse-band holds on to past hurts without fail and relates with his wife based on that. He, however, expects to be forgiven when he is at fault.

If you are in a relationship, you should look out for these characteristics and decide if you have a husband (or intended) or a horse-band. If your partner, is the latter, you should get immediate help from a certified and trustworthy relationship expert.