woman angry at man who sees her as someone to bed and not wed

When He Sees You as Someone to Bed and Not to Wed

2023-04-24T01:30:12+00:00

By irevealinglight

How can you tell if he only wants to bed you and not wed you? It’s possible to know because there are always tell-tale signs. But the reason why some ladies don’t see those red flags, or see them and ignore them, is because they think men are becoming scarce; they might not get lucky next time.But who told them that the man they insist on holding on to so tightly can be termed as lucky?You’re too special and intelligent to stay with someone who only wants to bed you and not wed you, who feels you’re not wifely enough for him.John Spence is of the opinion that “If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.”These are some ways of knowing if that man you are serious about sees you as someone to only bed and not wed:

1. His words

His speech will give him away: A man’s words will always betray him. Watch what he talks about with you. Does he sound egotistical? Talking more about himself, his job or his achievements? Or is he interested in knowing about your goals and aspirations, too?
Sexual innuendos: Does he turn EVERY conversation to sexual talk? For instance, he calls you and you inform him you had a long day, and you’re about to take a shower and he responds with “I could join you, you know – just say the word. I would be at your doorstep in a jiffy.”
Always passing comments about your outward appearance: He talks about how gorgeous or sexy you look but NEVER mentions how brilliant your mind is. Yeah, it’s quite flattering to ladies when they hear good comments about their looks, since a lot of women are moved by what they hear. But how much of YOU as a person does he praise? Does he tell you how good you are at your job? Or how respectful or humorous you are? If he doesn’t ask questions about your day or the last contract you worked on, then his mind might be focused on only one thing – to bed you.
His text, calls and emails are always suggestive: When he calls you on the phone, sends a text or sends an email, he doesn’t talk about quality issues that can draw you two closer. His verbal and written messages are MOSTLY stirred in a sexual direction and not to build real intimacy.

2. His attitude

Does he treat you right in private or in public? Is he proud to show you off to his friends and family or anytime you mention meeting up with his folks he feigns deafness or suddenly remembers they had travelled out of town for a long time?
Does he ask you questions about your family or hint at seeing them one day? If you’ve been together for a while and he has NEVER asked when he can see your folks then he might just want to bed and not wed you. Be wise.
To your friends: Is he unusually given to your close friends and asks about their welfare more than yours? He gives one or two of them the green light with his charming smile. And no, you didn’t imagine it, your mind was not playing tricks on you when he winked at that girlfriend of yours in a seductive way.
He bribes you with gifts: There is nothing wrong with buying gifts if you’re both on the same frequency of marriage. But does he buy them and looks at you suggestively and ask, “So, what would you do for me too?” Or “Would you like to show me how much you like what I got for you by trying it on – in my presence?”
The meet-up place: The few times you meet up he only wants to meet up at your place or his place. And he might bring takeaways. This is not all bad but he NEVER suggests you go on dates to a nice restaurant or an eatery and when you bring it up he gets angry. Red flag! Cheapskate alert! All he’s probably thinking of is to eat, maybe watch a movie and then end up having sex with you.
He doesn’t really listen to you: This kind of guy loves listening to the sound of his own voice. You’ve even told him you would prefer you had sex when you’re married but from all indications, he only told you “Okay” to make you feel at ease with him. He had no intention of honouring your wishes. Trust me, to wed you is far from his mind; he just wants to bed you.

3. When he pretends to be interested in getting married

There are some men who won’t shy away from talking about marriage but going ahead to actually do so is not part of their short- or long-term plans. You need to be extra careful and be on your guard. Don’t go bouncing off the walls yet.These kinds of men broach the topic and then make it seem as if you’re to blame for the delay in tying the knot. What do I mean? Maybe he visits you at home and you’re dressed down, which is not unusual because you’re at home. And then he says, “Why do you look so frazzled today? Did you forget to clean up and put on makeup? So that’s how I will marry you and then you begin to let yourself go. You’ll probably lose your figure too.”Or, is it the man that suffers from insecurities? He would say, “Yes, I want to marry you but I’m still trying to make enough money first so that you don’t rub it in my face that you’re earning more than me when we get married.” These sorts of men are not ready to make any serious commitment; they are just stringing you along.

What do people say about him?

Now I’m not suggesting you go about sniffing for news from people he knows or become a spy agent. Be discreet. If you suspect his agenda is just to bed you but you’re not sure, you can try and find out who he last dated and why things ended. Don’t be afraid to ask him directly and then still find out on your own, too.

To conclude…

Is that man right for you? You need to ask yourself before going in too deep; and if you’ve already gone in too deep, it’s not too late to get out. Don’t let him keep having his way with you and then display you on his shelf as a conquered trophy! Run, if you know he’s only interested in bedding you and not wedding you.All the best!

Efe Lisa Ifezuo

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irevealinglight

Efe Lisa is an author, ghostwriter and a freelancer with COINSCRIBES (General Transcription, proofreading, content Online writing Service). She is also an Emotional Health counselor/manager. Her writings are based on faith, real life, family, relationships, and beyond the four walls of school. The aim is to Reveal, Encourage, Strengthen and Transform (R.E.S.T.) She is married with children.