Heart to Heart

How to Get Closure After the Death of a Loved One

girl sitting on pier beside lake unable to get closure

How fast humans can get closure or move past the death of a loved one varies from person to person. We are all different in our thinking, emotions, background and all. However, closure is very important in order to move forward.

Here’s How to Get the Closure You Need

Cry and grieve all you want

The path to closure can be a very lonely one because only you can get the closure you need for yourself. Do not bottle in your feelings, let them all out. If you need to cry and scream or take time out to process everything that happened, please do. Do not hold back. And do not let anyone tell you how to feel.

Flood your mind with the good memories you made with them before their demise

This might not really be easy especially when you had to witness their last moments. Perhaps before they died, they were ill, bedridden or involved in an accident that claimed their lives and you saw them in this saddening state before they died.

But you need to bring up the good memories to unseat the bad ones. You can do this by checking out their pictures, seeing videos of them, listening to their voice notes or recordings, visiting the places they visited and doing the things you did together.

Keep a journal

Like I said earlier, the journey to finding closure can be lonely. Sometimes you don’t want to share your thoughts or feelings with anyone for fear of being misunderstood or judged. Journalling comes to the rescue at this point because you have to share your thoughts to lighten your mind. You can pour out your feelings and thoughts without being judged. Plus, you can also express all the things you didn’t get to tell them before they passed on.

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Take care of your health

You need to intentionally take care of your health. Now isn’t the time to hit the bottle or start using drugs to suppress your grief. You will only make matters worse. Eat and sleep well. Please see a doctor if you find it difficult to eat and sleep well. Do not self-medicate. Stay hydrated. Rest well and meditate, this will help ease the stress.

Pick up yourself and move forward

This doesn’t have to be drastic, you can take it one step at a time. Get involved in productive activities, hobbies, exercises, sports and so on. Something a little exciting and out of the norm should do.

Talk to someone about it

Talking to someone (a friend or family member) about it might mean that you are getting past it and are comfortable sharing your experience and thoughts with them. Or that you need a shoulder to cry and lean on. Talking to a therapist or a counsellor might mean that you need professional help getting past the situation. Either way, you are on a journey towards finding closure.

Find solace in God

Praying, reading the word of God or spiritual books and meditating on them, attending religious activities with the brethren and talking to your spiritual head can help in the process of healing and finding closure.


Getting closure doesn’t mean you love the deceased less. It simply means that you have finally accepted the fact that they are no more, and have decided to move on.


Ajimuda Evelyn is a writer, poet and blogger. She is a creative who brings imaginations alive.

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