By Depression: 10 Ways to Support Your Spouse
By irevealinglight
I had all the symptoms. I was getting angry and disassociated from my work. I didn’t want to do the work; I was desperate for a rest.A wife should, therefore, know the signs of depression in men and be extra perceptive to notice if/when her husband slips into depression.
What are some of these signs of depression in men?
- In place of prolonged sadness, some men may become very aggressive or agitated.
- Men experience feelings of hopelessness and emptiness. Poor concentration and low energy almost every day.
- Withdrawal from people and lack of motivation. They lose interest in work, sex, sports or other things they once enjoyed.
- Self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. Gambling and driving recklessly.
- Being irritable, and getting angry easily.
- Sleep disturbances— unable to sleep or sleeping too much.
- Suicidal thoughts and attempts.
- Inability to meet daily responsibilities.
- Controlling, violent, or abusive behaviour.
- Change in weight and appetite—eating more or less, which leads to changes in weight.
Be sensitive and perceptive
I mentioned perceptiveness earlier on. You need to be sensitive and observant of your spouse’s mood changes or behaviour. For instance, if your husband doesn’t get angry often and suddenly, you notice he gets upset or irritated for no explainable reason and snaps at you, the children or/and domestic staff a lot. He might be depressed without him even knowing it.Learn more about depression
You need to educate yourself about depression before you can offer meaningful help to your spouse. Learn about its causes, symptoms and treatments, too. Read and understand what it really means. You can get more information about depression from the websites of The World Health Organisation (WHO) and The International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression. (iFred)Be patient and caring
It’s rather hard being patient with a man who snaps at you for no justifiable reason. Well, it’s at this time that he needs your patience, care and understanding to get through the difficulties associated with depression.Tell yourself—he may be depressed but he is not the depression. The depression is causing the negative attitude and sudden change. Try separating the person—your husband, from the bad attitude and the depressive disorder. Don’t take it personally.Encourage open conversations
In addition to being patient, you have to create a safe space for your husband, whereby, he can express himself freely without being judged or criticised. Once he knows he can express his feelings with you, he will most likely open up about things in his life that are bothering him and it will be easier to help him get through it or seek professional counsel and therapy.Together, seek professional help
This brings us to the fifth point of seeking professional help from a mental health counsellor/therapist. However, it is more encouraging for your spouse if you go along with him. He would appreciate the support during the therapy and counselling sessions and you may also need the sessions, too to help you cope as a caregiver to your spouse.Help out with chores and tasks
Help your partner with daily responsibilities and tasks to alleviate the stress. This could include dropping kids off at school or picking them up, attending the school’s PTA meetings, household chores or other responsibilities.Encourage social meet-ups
Encourage your spouse to meet up with friends and family for meaningful connections. You can also plan surprise dates with him—at home or outside the home. Such social connections are rejuvenating and they can help him in dealing with the depression and coming out of it.
Love him, and offer hope
Show him unconditional love and offer hope. You can remind him why he needs to keep living—it could be because of the kids, you, his desire to help others or the faith he has embraced. Make him see the reason to keep hope alive. Be there for him. He needs to see you actively love him, especially when the depression is now affecting his thoughts, feelings and actions.Encourage engaging in healthy habits
This is easier said than done. So, you need to not only encourage but engage in such activities with him. Encourage him to exercise, get enough sleep and eat well—prepare nutritious meals and keep healthy snacks handy.Practise self-care
Take care of your mental health and body when helping your spouse during this period. This is especially necessary so that you don’t break down or become depressed, too. Self-care habits include: getting enough sleep, praying and reading the Bible, eating a healthy diet, exercising and yoga poses, and staying socially connected.Helping or supporting someone through depression can be fatiguing but the good news is that every effort made in the right direction can bring about a recovery from the mental disorder.You don’t have to do it alone. Always know you can enlist the help of a trusted family member, friend or counsellor when you need it, provided your spouse is not opposed to the idea.All the best!@efelisaifezuo|irevealinglightDiscover more from Feminine Digest
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