By 6 Lies a Lady Tells Herself in a Relationship
By irevealinglight
All lies! You know that’s just a bunch of lies you’ve been telling yourself for three years now. Just face it Amelia, this relationship is heading nowhere. Why don’t you wake up and smell the coffee?Amelia’s twin sister ranted before exiting the room, slamming the mahogany wooden door. Most relationships suffer when one party or both parties are not sincere. A lot of times, ladies or women, usually want to keep a relationship going, even if it is becoming toxic and it is glaringly unhealthy. Everyone else around her has seen the red flags, but she still makes excuses for her partner.No lady is required to stay in a relationship that is going nowhere, or one that she invests more in than her partner. Or one which the partner is too controlling, or worse, she gets used as a punching bag. This is not right; relationships are not meant to cause harm to anyone, and if it is causing harm, then the person on the receiving end needs to rethink and flee.So, what are some of these lies a lady tells herself that is causing her harm?
1. “I am not good enough for him.”
I almost feel like smacking you upside the head for even thinking this. Don’t ever feel this way about yourself. Believe in who you are; you are special and super great in the eyes of the one who created you! I still recall when God created all things and man in the beginning, he looked at what He had created and said, “this is good.” So, girlfriend you are good enough for the right person, maybe you’re with the wrong person.2. “I can only be happy with him.”
What! Do you really believe this? You can be happy with anyone you choose to be happy with. No man should determine or dictate your happiness. You are the architect of your happiness. He might have cornered you into believing this, but it’s the fattest lie of the century. Don’t stay with a person that makes you believe your happiness is in his hands. That is downright toxic.3. “I must have done something wrong to be treated this way.”
If you’re in a relationship and you’re treated badly, especially if there is so much emotional and physical battering, please get out. You deserve better. Even if you did something wrong—like we all do, once in a while; you don’t deserve to be abused. Please wake up from this harmful deceit before it’s too late.4. “He will change after we get married or I can change him.”
I think I would call this one, the mother of all lies. When you believe this, it ends up backfiring—instead of changing him, he ends up changing you, and at times, not for good. Or overtime, he grows worse in his behaviour and mannerisms. No man can really change another person, without that person desiring a change. If he has not changed into who you desire him to be before marriage, then there is no magical metamorphosis that is going to happen once you tie the knot.5. “If I love him enough, he will be better.”
Oh really? What makes you think that he won’t grow worse? The Christian faith tells us that God loved the world, so he sent his son to save men, but despite this, a lot of people are still going the way of wrongdoing. Has he not loved them enough? It’s a matter of choice to embrace the love someone has shown you. You have loved him. If he is not better yet, it is not your fault. Stop blaming yourself. Instead, decide if being with him is best for you or you need to leave.6. “I can’t be alone; I need someone to complete me.”
Recite this mantra with me— “There’s nothing wrong with being alone. I would rather be alone than be in a toxic, and harmful relationship. I am not afraid. I am bold. I don’t need to have someone to complete me, because I’m already complete. I was created whole and not broken. I refuse this lie with everything that is within me.”
If you recited it, congrats. Do you know that it is possible to be with someone and you’re still alone? So, it’s not just about staying with someone but staying with the right person that brings out the best in you. Is that person bringing out the best in you?Apart from these lies, there are still others that ladies tell themselves, but by bringing these to the limelight, you are more aware to refute all kinds of deception and embrace the truth—that you’re special, worthy, beautiful, complete and good.
I leave you with the words of Fyodor Dostoevsky, the Russian novelist and essayist:Above all, don’t lie to yourself…The man who listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others…All the best!@efelisaifezuo|irevealinglight
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