How to Deal with Insensitive Relations and Their Annoying Questions This Holiday Season

Yeah! It’s holiday season and this season is meant to be enjoyed after all the year’s work and ‘shege‘.

How then can you enjoy the holiday in peace when some family members won’t stop passing annoying comments and asking sensitive questions like:

“When are you getting married?”

“Your cousin just relocated to the UK with her husband.”

“You look so skinny, haven’t you been feeding well?”

“I want to come and eat naming rice and carry your baby very soon, blah blah blah.”

Before you set out to your hometown or that big family party this season, you need to know that:

• It is fine for people to share their success stories and achievements. How they do it is up to their personalities. So, see them for who they are.
• You already know your limitations. Therefore, no one needs to tell you or remind you of them. See to it that, you render those comments and questions stale by not letting them get to you. Stay above.
• You don’t have to be in a place that messes with your mental health. If you do not have the strength to look pass those comments without it getting to you please, avoid traveling down. Your mental health is very important. You can make plans with some friends and still enjoy yourself. Then, trust God that the coming year will be better off.

If you really have to go for the holiday, do the following:

• Go with a positive mindset. The only form of defense you have against such folks is your mind. Go with your shoulders high and your head up. Do not go with a defeated or downcast heart but rather with the intention of enjoying yourself. And make sure you do just that.
• Protect yourself. There is something I call a “wordproof vest”. Once I put it on, I am immune to whatever negative words you say to me. It won’t let your words stick, let alone bother me. So, get your wordproof vest ready. Protect yourself against every negative word said to you.
• Avoid being in the same space with the insensitive folks. Once you realize that they are prone to throwing subtle shades, pass nasty comments, ask sensitive questions and pry unnecessarily, just avoid them.

Note: Feeling bad and letting their words or actions get to you will only ruin your holiday and leave you bruised. Decide in your heart not to let that happen. Get a hold of yourself and have fun. You deserve it.

Ajimuda Evelyn Temitayo is a writer, poet and blogger. She is a creative who brings imaginations alive.